4-9-10 watch out for a naughty word

Bloggity blog bloggerson: Day of the week? Date of the month? The month itself? Who frickin' cares? Oh wait. I'm having a lil babay. Er, um, I mean, it's April 9th. 5;26 pm. That's a friday. I'm sorry sir. You see the dish, it er um, it ran away with the spoon...

Okay blogateers: (btw Claire: if you're reading, you have to check out this Gem chick that Becky Coop's way into. I KNOW you would dig it, it's right up your alley/sense of humor) things I gotta tells ya about

walter dinner

truck/erin'

dinner sunday,

larry pinis no names, just rhymes with pinnis

people bitchin

history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme

ruth's music had my crying yesterday.

First, and foremast, the outdower shower: ROCKS. Only cold water. It comes out of a valve i have ducttaped to the side of the building. I just went out in broad daylight, stark raving farmer's tan havin' ass nekkid, and hosed the ol' carcass down. And WOW, holy shit, that was absolutely, without a doubt, the best shower I've ever, EVER had. Now I smell like wine and roses, (I'll get to the wine part- okay, can the suspense, I'm having a vodka tonic). I thought someone might come walkin up, and you know what I would say? Didn't invite ya. Fuck ya. What, you shower with your clothes on? Strange people.

My attitude comes from the following: I did NOT want to build this building, though it's worked in our favor to have it foisted (as well as forceded) on us. As you may recall, gentle reader, I wanted to take our steel building and erect it (cover your ears, children) on the site of the main building as a temporary building, then disassemble it, and reerect it (that would be a resurrection to you) as the main crib was being cribstructed. No such luck. The city building inspector (I will post pictures that I took of the inside of his office, but let's just say it's not to code (the toilet paper holder is UNDERNEATH- YES, I SAID UNDERNEATH the counter/vanity in the bathroom, at floor level, in between the double sinks. I don't know what kind of Jah's sweetest herb is smoked in that office, but I can assure you sir, it is not a legal tobacco. Further, the LIGHTSWITCH PANEL HAS A WALL BUILT PARTIALLY OVER IT. Yes, it is true, friends. I have photographic evidence. A disgrace. But I digress. Anyhoo, to quote Chris Lison, and anyways, to quote a former nameless acquaintance, they told me they would not allow me to erect, nor resurrect, any steel building. They told me I should buy a plan from them for a small guest house and use it for the same purpose. So they pored through the plans they made to find one to force upon me, er, to offer me. They had nothing small. They recommended their colleague. He was out. They called him. He was home. I raced up island 30 miles, bought a plan from him for 200 clams (that's dollars, people)and at the same time asked if I could build it smaller. It was 576 square feet. He said yes. I asked could I use 2x6 for rafters, he said yes. I asked if I could build a shed roof, he said yes. I asked if I could use 2x6 joists, he said no. I then raced back to his office to pay the fee to submit it. They were gone. Monday, I did the same. The main guy said he would think about it. Even though it was his idea. He said he might "work with me." I think I already told you this. I bribed him, blah blah. Later, after I had built the shed roof, old larry comes around. I won't tell you his last name, but it rhymes with "pinnis." He takes his fat fucking ass to the bottom of the hill, and I come out. He tells me that I wasn't supposed to do a shed roof. I told him I cleared it with his guy that he forced me to buy a plan from, and "so that's why I built it that way, and it's done now, so that's that." He told me he was building a bar and needed a flat screen tv for the bar. I told him things were tough all over. I then thanked him and went back inside leaving him scratching his considerable ass.

A few days ago, one of the rainbow bay building leaders came by to "say hello." He asked me to take a sliding glass door off his hands one time recently, and I said I was interested and how much, and he said something about 800 dollars. I laughed and told him it sounded like he said 800 dollars, and that these doors cost 350 dollars all day new in the states. He mumbled and said take it we'll figure it out later. Anyway, so he comes by, "to say hello," which means he was coming to see if I was within my setbacks (20 feet from the front of the lot, etc.). I'm not an idiot. I'm not about to build over the line. The next day, he comes with the other guy. They express "concern" that people "have expressed concern" about the building. The issue? It's got wood on the outside. Why does it have wood on the outside?

Well, let's see.
A: It's a wood building. Wood sheathing is key to the structural integrity of the design.
B: It's under construction. From the time we set the first post to the time we were shingling was no more than six days. To complain about the siding not being VINYL, etc. at this point is insane. Who would have had the time? Even if I paint it, which I might, I will not paint brand new pressure treated wood. You let it sit for six months. Maybe they don't understand this.
C: There is no bylaw for Rainbow Bay about what type of siding you have.
D: It has wood siding because it WILL ALWAYS HAVE WOOD SIDING.

I told the one guy, at least I haven't boarded up the windows and started blaring Christian music out of bullhorns like Waco part II. Let sleeping dogs lie, kids. I further told them both: "you see all those tools in the yard? Like the CEMENT MIXER? That means it's UNDER CONSTRUCTION. UNDER CONSTRUCTION means it's not finished." They wouldn't tell me who was the lil' Rainbow Bayby, but I should have asked them to pass on one more message: GET BENT.



So back to old Chubsy Wubsy: Today, he came back, claiming someone complained about the shed roof. Said someone was complaining. I told him it was approved by his office. I told him to call old boy and have him straighten it. Serious bullshit. So immediately after, I went to Rainbow Homeboy's house and asked him if he complained. He said no. I said "if you didn't, you know who did." I asked him who, and he wouldn't tell me. He did tell me though that the beef was about the plywood outside, unpainted. I'm thinking about painting it all except for some bare wood spelling out the letters: "HAPPY NOW, ASSHOLE?"

So anyway, I used the new shower, tonight nude. I was hoping whoever it was could get a chance to see a full moon in the day time.

I have the wiring JUST ABOUT done. The plumbing is as done as it will get for now. The roof is done. Cabinets are in. I have to take one down to finish the hurricane ties, but those are almost done too. The windows are in. They need to be trimmed.

I think I'm going to add two large braces corner to corner on the ceiling. That might take a few hours, but I think it will add considerable strength to the front wall, which up until that point, remains the weak link in the building. The posts for the retaining wall are 3/4 done. I have this guy Max helping me, who is super cool. Very hardworking, nice, honest, hardworking, cool, smart, hardworking Haitian guy. The Haitians are the serious underclass here. That's another story. Anyway, if I work with him, and I can afford a few hundred bucks more gravel, we can probably finish the posts monday for the retaining wall. Then place the rebar, and then if we have a washout in the rainy season, the rocks and dirt sliding downhill will just be backfilling the retaining wall. Max is pretty awesome, but we have a few communication problems. I told him about two posts I wanted to build at the bottom of the lot by Queen's Highway, so I could run a chain across the current driveway. The lot slants to the side, so he put one closer to the road than the other to make them the same height. I told him no, I wanted them the same distance, so he made them, and one of them is turned about 30 degrees from the road and from the other one. It's lucky I like him so much, because now when I see it I'll laugh, instead of if it was this other guy Kevin I fired who did it, I'd be pissed every time i saw it. Funny how the ol brain. works. As Homer said "okay, brain, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but we're gonna have to work together..."


Man, my parents are going to love this building. It's just like the pumphouse...

Ruth's music made me actually cry yesterday. I think I might have cried a few times from music in the past, but I can't remember any.

I have an invite to eat dinner (AGAIN) at Walter and Ton's house. They catch fish everyday, then they cook for me. I loan them the truck, or when they smoke all their herb, they smoke the 5 bucks worth they bought for me before I have any. They know I hardly touch it, but like to have it around in case I get in the mood, so they get it for me, then a few days later they take it back. Then I give them and onion and a green pepper for dinner, etc. Walter's a pretty cool guy. He hunts and fishes for a living, and as a guide, so he has an okay life. He used to live with Stevie Ray Vaughan, and has Dan Ackroyd over to his house in New York. The dopesmokin' hoi polloi.
Erin says he might want the truck. He might be down with trading work for half, cash for half. We'll see.

Time to go eat some homecooked fresh caught dinnner next door. Wonder what it'll be tonight? This will be about the fourth time I've eaten over...He doesn't even invite me now, he just starts telling me what's for dinner...

I love you guys.
XO


How's this for a name for the building:

PINE BOX (it is)

or

DAYDREAM HOG COMPOUND
(I wrote Ruth that I was daydreaming of her, and the text editor finished my word for me... daydreaming became daydreamhog. Ah, computers...)

or

WHISKEY HOLLER
can't get anymore redneck than that

or some combination of the above

or I could just leave the sign I'm putting up tomorrow "HAPPY NOW, ASSHOLE?"