criss crossing tomorrow...

APRIL 27, 2008 NOT ACROSS THE GULFSTREAM by Jack
Okay, first, we traveled hundreds of miles to be here, at Bimini so that we could leave at the opportune weather moment. We only go 6 or 7 mph do that, so it's a lot. Once here, we waited, and watched for the weather to be exactly right. We skipped Saturday because Sunday would be slightly better. 8 or so boats were doing likewise. We all left together. We got halfway across the Gulf Stream, with the wind at our backs, the wave at our backs, the current at our backs.
We heard the Coast Guard pulling over boats. Figures. I guess they don't even patrol when it's stormy, cold, windy, or rough. But when the seas are nice, they're out there keeping you “safe.” We hear people getting boarded on VHF.
Sure enough, then they come after us. We wait and wait, as they stalk us. They drove next to us for half an hour or something, before I got on the radio and asked if we they neede our sails down or anything (like, in case they wanted to board us). They said no.
They grill us for info, and then finally, say they're boarding. Another half an hour goes by while we putt along. They come up to get on, and ram their boat into ours (with the soft nose, of course), swinging us off course, now instead of oriented right to the waves, we're pointed at a funny angle, surfing down waves, trying to avoid a wild broach which would steer us further into them as they plow ahead with mega horsepower. The wind is no longer filling the sail, the sail hestitates, then catches the wind and swings wildly to the other side, almost clocking one of their guys on the head. I tell him hold on, get the boat under control, and we resume our conversation, with them in our tiny boat, with their pistols, tasers, etc.
They say they need to check the holds for water. “WHAT?” If we were sinking, we would know it. It was clearly a thinly veiled chance to search our boat, which they did. Then they had to look for flares. Ours are expired. Apparently, this is worth a ticket, even by their own admission later, you don't need to carry them in the daytime. We still got a ticket, though. Our fire extinguisher is low on juice. We told them we tried to buy one in Nassau, Eleuthera, and Bimini (true), but they were not available where we looked (marine and hardware stores). After calling in to Miami, they told us that the boat can't sail further without one, and they would not share. They also said they recommended that Miami let us just sail on, and get one once we landed, but Miami said “negative.”
They wrote us our tickets, told us to turn our boat around and sail to Bimini. Ruth and I pointed out that we were halfway across the Gulf Stream. They said that it was just too dangerous for us to continue on without a fire extinguisher on board that had a new date on it. We pointed out that 99% of the casualties, if not more, on this dangerous body of water appear to be weather, not fire related, and that sailing halfway across, back to Bimini, where you probably can't even find a fire extinguisher, let alone buy one, and then crossing again (like crossing twice, the second time in much more inclement weather) was more dangerous than just getting there and buying a fire extinguisher where we know they are available.
They didn't seem to agree, or rather “Miami” didn't, according to them, despite their “recommendations to the contrary.” We asked that they call Miami to reconsider, and they refused. They left, circled us (“escorted”) for a long time, vulturelike (“for our safety”), and then demanded that we hail them on the radio when we are moored in Bimini.
Chuckleheaded bastards. That's our government at work again. Tax dollars well spent. I asked the second chucklehead if they would be monitoring our progress across, and would they note if someone like us happened to stop in the Stream and drift endlessly. They said not to worry “you'd hit land eventually.” Wow, thanks! I feel secure.
Great to know that these idiots are safely monitoring the one vessel in the Gulf Stream that we KNOW is NOT sinking for hours at a time, and then following it further into the Stream, and then turning around and forcing us to go AWAY from our own country, away from the place where the fire extinguishers are sold, INTO the waves, wind and current, to go on a wild goose chase to find fire extinguishers that they recommend we “have shipped to us” in Bimini, only to be forced to wait for another window of weather that MIGHT be as safe as the one we were almost done sailing through. RIGHT ON.
Long story slightly longer: we spent four hours or more going back to Bimini, where we had a hell of a time docking in wind that was exactly terrible to dock in, but thanks to new friends we landed safely and tied the boat with out incident other than excitement. Of course, all the stores are closed, since it was Sunday. After that, we decided to try one local guy I had met the other day for a fire extinguisher, and who I remembered had said he was “open 7 days” in the bait shop that's about as big as your front hall. He pulled a fire extinguisher from the shelf in a ripped box, with about a half inch of dust on it. $25 bucks. We felt like it might be our lucky day after all. We checked the weather online (the marina never did change their password, and I happened to figure it out, heh heh heh), and the strong front that was coming Monday morning is now coming Tuesday night. That means we sail tomorrow if all goes well. We leave at 6ish. So, I go to bed now, but now you know why we're not there, and where we are. We hope to be online in a few days to confirm to you, but if we land near a town, we'll find a phone and give Mary Lee a shout, and she can relay to everyone that we made it.
Oh, and don't worry. The Coast Guard is watching the Stream for immigrants, drugs, and justify their own existence, and they gave us their assurance that if something were to happen to us, that if our boat broke down, caught fire, or got hit by a cruise ship, whale, or whatever, that “we'd hit land eventually.”

Take care,
And as Jim Morrison or someone once said, we'll see you on the other side.
Jack (and Tater, Sparkle, Speck, Spud, Stumpy, or Rudy, as you know her)